Of Fate

Why do we think that everything matters?

What do I mean there? Well, inasmuch as I think of the rotation of planets and where our lives end up, I cannot help thinking that there is a predestined version of it all somewhere. That certainly sounds like a possibility. But, if there is, then nothing we do actually matters — so why bother with anything because surely that decision has been foreseen and already accounted for so nothing we can do would be able to change it.

That results from two issues:

a) if anything we did were able to change what was already set in stone, then the variables would be changing too fast due to seven billion people constantly moving them around, and the “system of fate” would collapse on its own complexity

b) if things we did were not going to change anything because they had been accounted for in the plan, then literally the shortest of thoughts in our minds would have to have been recorded *before it happened* in some database for it to not affect the course of life

Why do I say the last thing I did? My own view is that if I tried to model life without accounting for absolutely all of the variables, the things I missed would mean that my model deviated almost immediately after the beginning due to the intrinsic complexity of what is happening. If not even the shortest of thoughts of every one of us seven billion (due to be nine, I hear) is recorded then that could cause a necessary change in the plan.

But then the very amount of changes would be the undoing of the plan! Assuming that a third of us are awake we would still receive approximately two and a third billion thoughts a second (somewhat less), and of these if the plan accounted for even 75% the other 25% would eventually overwhelm the plan with the changes prescribed.

So, it would not be a plan that could be followed.

And if there is a plan created that cannot absolutely be followed, it is a waste of effort. And why indulge in a waste of effort…


Now, mind you… all of this is effective only if humanity is not an experiment of “free will” with some small set parameters that are supposed to be effected whenever any other target/goal takes place in which instance a partial plan would make sense. But that is far too much into guessing the fabric of universe for a late hour such as this.

Of Dreams

I would say that what we think our lives are beforehand is a dream. The future, we would think, will play out as a dream in our minds. And when we finally get to those points, the dream is gone. But it is only gone from our minds; for when do we ever accurately remember what we thought. The dream we think is gone, is there. There is just the question of having our minds realize that.

The Ways of (***) Future

If I were to think of the future, I could possibly outline two ways of the future playing out. And then I would think of the benefits and downsides of either way, trying to weigh them in my mind to see which one my mind and heart would prefer more.

And that is what I’ve been doing every now and then lately. But there is a problem… both of the two, as I see it, bring to me a similar happiness at every stage when I’m going along it for they would enable different things and possibilities — and I know in the deepest part of my soul that I would miss the one I could not achieve no matter how far I would get on the chosen path.

So, the choice seems to be between two equal options, bringing equality in both good and bad. The same amount of things not happening as things happening, at least insofar as can be considered relevant within the category of “life-changing decisions”.

What to do, what to do?

I would think, that the way to solve this problem… is to just let things play out, and since one of the two is guaranteed, I will just let it happen. There is really no other way to go about it.


It is interesting to note how very many different factors are at play in the organisation of the smallest detail.

The Rule, the 15-Minute Rule

Apparently, there is a book out (titled, aptly, ‘The 15-Minute Rule’) where it says that anything is easier to achieve if broken down into manageable bites. Or, at least, that’s what it looked like when I skimmed myself through the first few chapters (and after that got back into my book on zen culture).

But I thought I would try it, and just for the sake of reminding myself (and, apparently, everyone else), I’ve mentioned it here so that I will actually try to keep to it more than I would otherwise. There’s two things I want to try right now, since they are most wanting of attention.

  • blog : so I’ll spend 15 minutes of every day when I’m at home after 8 pm on my blog, either with a post on one of the feeds or by tweaking the background (etc, etc)
  • project : every person needs to write a project for their Bachelor’s degree, and I have yet to decide what mine is, so I’ll keep myself to looking into that, every day, for the said amount of time.

We’ll see where I am in a week (and whether it has made directing attention any easier).

So Far Away in Time

A few days ago I had the chance to say that time doesn’t matter. In the sense that it doesn’t matter whether something happens a few days earlier or later — if it is meant to happen, it will happen.

Why I came to say something like that? I was discussing (or rather, discussing is a term implying we actually spoke of the matter while we actually just touched it, lightly, not mentioned what it was but just *when* it was not) with a person (a person, not a friend, not something else, just someone I know) whether he had undone himself due to delaying.

“Time does not matter.”

I was convinced of that then.

And yesterday, I myself thought that time had destroyed me, stopped me. I contradicted, in my mind, something that I had been so very certain in just a short time ago.

And today, I woke up. I realized I had been wrong the second time, and right the first time. It is never time which is to be blamed, but how to use that time.

But what is it that makes people doubt themselves and their own beliefs? And will it happen again?


I should make a conscious effort to post a bit more often here — it is not even that I have no ideas, for often I manage to think that “It would be great fun to write and post about a or b, wouldn’t it?” and yet it comes to nothing.

Laziness. It is clearly the force that a) makes the society work when it really needs to, and b) makes very little happen when it is not really supposed to happen (yet).

Interestingly enough, the easy part almost always seems to be thinking about doing something — even figuring out the details of a particular item that needs to be written or solved is not a problem, but not a single word will actually be marked down until it is the last moment.

And this is especially easy as an university student — there is not a single problem with waiting to start a coursework or essay if it is due in eight or fifteen weeks (as one of mine this term was). And truly, very little effort has been put into the actual work that will form the basis of this coursework I specifically target here, although again, in my mind it has been written a hundred times.

If it was just that easy…

So, the only conclusion: more effort into conquering laziness, no matter what we’re speaking of.

Of the Aurorae

Based on the news and words out there, we just saw the Aurora Borealis in Norfolk. I smiled when I realized that I missed it, but people I know saw it (or a reflection of it). I don’t even know why smile at something as innocuous as that, but I did. And I enjoyed the thought that one day I will look at them (somewhere else, probably) and take the most of the sight.

And I was pleased of finding out it was that.

To Know

The light of life has been dimmed, and rekindled.


I hope to post in more detail tomorrow, but laziness might just strike.

Living up to…

… the standards one sets for oneself. It is a difficult task, seldom possible in my opinion. But today I succeeded, and I enjoyed the success. I lost something very dear to me (indeed, to my housemates I described it as the only item I took particular interest in). And when I realised I had lost it, I had a single thought, “I wish I had not lost it.”

And that was it.

Now, I’m sure a replacement will come along. When it can, when it must. I just have the idea that it will work out as it will. And that is sufficient.

However, the actual pleasure and success of acting as I would have wished to have made me realise on more thing : I think it likely that it started my new year. Today. Not on the 31st or the 1st. Today. And I would like to believe it set the course for my next year as well. 🙂

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